I have a confession to make. When something major in life goes wrong, it can really in a wide sweeping motion derail you off the tracks. I have to confess, I didn’t complete school as I’d intended and I left matters of academia in what I feel was a mess. My first year was basically successful, but I was left feeling awful and I ultimately had to downgrade my course of study. I spent an extraordinarily long time only to finally close the deal with a college diploma.
- I took French and Geography in my first year of school.
French was extremely difficult for me and I don’t know how I’d been accepted into a curriculum like that. I couldn’t speak the language and I couldn’t read it. Somehow, I squeaked by, but it was a stressful, unpleasant experience, and a waste of time (and of money). Thank goodness my French course came and went.
My first year geography course was better, but nonetheless I found it complicated and dull. To keep on top of my work, one of the essay assignments I had to submit to my Teacher’s Assistant, I “borrowed” liberally from other articles (ie, parts were plagiarized). I think the guilt over that was so intense (and it was a wrongful thing to do), I had to leave school for some time. Perhaps more than anything that is why I have a confession to make.
- It was weird being away from home.
I was sad being away so much of the time, as I was quite some distance from home. The winter of my first year was a typical Canadian winter and the weather conditions were extreme. I remember wandering about at night wondering how on earth I could face the future, or even the next day, and it was very distressing.
There were a few fun times, though, because I liked the town where I was going to school. I just had a gut instinct to poke my nose around and explore rather than knuckle down and do the work. I can’t go back and fix what I did and because of that I have a confession to make.
- I wasted lots of time, more than I could afford to waste.
What I needed to do was to be constantly active, as much as possible, and I simply wasn’t. I wasted more time than I could afford to waste. At times I was hiding out in my dorm room listening to compact discs of strange, drug-influenced music. I think my biggest regret is not reading avidly in school whenever I had free time. It’s really a requirement of success. All this adds up to the fact that I have a confession to make.
It is hard for me to believe that this is acceptable; I really feel it’s not. I wish to goodness I’d done far better. Anyone wish to venture a comment from their own experience that parallels what I did? Thanks for reading.