Feature a fictional character. #bloganuary

(Transcript of a video interview with Nova Scotia’s famed trailer park resident, Ricky, whose surname is being kept private for reasons of security)

TV Tropes
Trailer Park Boys

Interviewer: It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Ricky: Well, Mr. Smartypants, I’m mostly here because the judge said that if I set a positive example, it would look much better on me than going straight to what I do best, which is to grow dope and then to sell it. That’s how I make my living, that’s how I feed family, and who has a right to tell me otherwise?

Interviewer: I only said hi. Is there something you could say to introduce yourself?

Ricky: To the people watching?

Interviewer: I don’t really have a lot of viewers.

Ricky: Then why interfluke me in the first place? Why is it I’m helping you do that when I’m supposedly to be setting a good example?

Interview: What was the reason for your summons?

Ricky: You don’t listen too good, do you? Selling dope.

Interview: I think sales of that nature have to be regulated.

Ricky: Is that right, Mr. I told you so? I spend plenty of time in nature. Where do you think I calibrate myself?

Interview: Excuse me?

Ricky: Oh, so that’s your true colours. I turn the tables on you and you start playing dumb. Calibrate myself in nature, you asked me why I don’t do that.

Interviewer: I meant drug sales have to be regulated.

Ricky: Don’t tell me you’re a cop! I knew this was a bad idea. I must be out of my mind giving an interview to make the judge happy.

Interviewer: No, no, I’m not from the police, I just wanted an interview that I could put on social media. You’re known for making a documentary about trailer park life.

Ricky: I am, ain’t I? Look, sorry about your little news report thing here that you got me here for, but I just remembered. I don’t need to do this! I got my own documentary movie-making people.

Interviewer: I just thought on top of that.

Ricky: Nah, this is over. I got people waiting. You hear that? Real-life people that don’t want their lives put in some Internet book. I’m getting out of here. Find somebody else to intervain.

Fin.